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10 Funny New Year's Resolution Tweets

10 Funny New Year's Resolution Tweets featured image

The New Year is a time for family, fun, celebrations and RESOLUTIONS!

Below we list 10 funny New Year’s Resolution tweets.


Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret
— Siddharth Singh (@siddharth3) December 27, 2016


My New Years resolution is to try and put less than 4 chapsticks through the washer & dryer next year.
— Shawn Booth (@Shawn_Booth) December 27, 2016


Actual New Years resolution: Dont spend so much time sitting on the toilet playing on my phone once i’m done. No legs falling asleep in 2017
— Austin Creed (@XavierWoodsPhD) January 3, 2017


My New Years resolution is not to say, “ok 2018 will be my year” at the end of this year.
— 9GAG (@9GAG) January 1, 2017


Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word “stop.”
— Pete Holmes (@peteholmes) January 1, 2014


New Year New Me
New Year New M
New Year New
New Year Ne
New Year N
New Year
New Yea
New Ye
New Y
Need F
Need Fo
Need Food
— Soy Miguel (@mikeyhebert28) January 1, 2017


For those of you who have already failed your New Years resolution like I have there is always the Chinese New Year to try again
— Thomas Pankonin (@ThomasPankonin) January 3, 2017


#My2017Resolution To read the history of the world!
— MichaelCoffee (@MichaelTCoffee) December 12, 2016


In Dec 2015 I felt calm like the Buddha. In Dec 2016 I just have the same BMI as the Buddha. #newyearsresolution
— Jon Barnes (@fluxjon) December 16, 2016


My New Years resolution is to love myself like Kanye loves himself and believe in myself like Kanye believes in himself.
— Sassy Drunk (@Sassy_Drunk) January 2, 2014

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

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